Buns on Jurassic World

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Our Rating

Among all the movies that the Buns were waiting for, this was one of the most anticipated. Jurassic World comes not as a remake masterpiece but as yet another sequel to the Spielberg’s Jurassic Park. How did the transition from the 90s to the 2010s go for the franchise? Let the Buns tell you.

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Anais

Last week, I came across an article whose title asked if Chris Pratt was the new Harrison Ford. Yes. I think that after seeing him in Guardians of the Galaxy and Jurassic World, we can be pretty sure that Chris Pratt is this generation’s very own ruggedly handsome manly man hero of our dreams. He is a babe, a great actor, he’s funny, adorable, and he has the power to make me love any scene he’s in just by showing up. I love him.

Now, I’m not going to say that Chris Pratt is the only reason why I enjoyed Jurassic World. There are a few reasons to legitimately have a good time watching this flick. However, would I call it a good movie? … Maybe?

The story is pretty much what we saw from the trailers. Two boys are trapped in Jurassic World, now a worldwide-known theme park, as a dangerous hybrid species of dinosaur escapes from the confinement and starts a giant game of manhunt. The general manager of the park is an uptight woman who also happens to be the boys’ aunt; Chris Pratt is sweaty and sexy and is also a raptor handler, and everybody runs around trying to catch the beast while very obvious bad guys try to turn the dinos into military weapons. That’s pretty much it. There are a few subplots attached to character development, but they barely seem to matter, because they’re fixed with a snap of a fingers or just merely left behind after a while.

I think that’s my general problem with the movie. It looks great, the action scenes are really cool, there are a lot of awesome dinos around and Chris Pratt has the ability to transform me into a pool of human juices everytime he breathes. But that’s about it. The movie is pretty. It’s a good ride. It doesn’t offer anything in terms of substance. The plot follows its course like a perfectly oiled machine, the characters follow along, and everything ends well. It’s a good thing that blood and death and screams and the DINOSAURS are involved, otherwise this would be a pretty boring flick. And the truth is that most of the time when they try to focus on characters, it kind of is. It also doesn’t help that the movie suffers from a major case of classic sexism. Who the hell still writes women like this and doesn’t get banned to a Lego desert?

In any case, my inner child was mostly satisfied and my vagina definitely loved it. As a writer though? I’m frustrated as hell.

P.S: Who doesn’t immediately strip naked when Chris Pratt gives them the “I want you” look? WHO?!

P.P.S: FUCKING MOSASAURUS.

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Smolder alert.

Nadin

It might be an unpopular opinion, but I absolutely loved Jurassic World! Moreover, I liked it more than Avengers: Age Of Ultron, which was supposed to be the movie of the year for me. Can you believe it? I mean, seriously, can you honestly believe I just said that?!

Admittedly, nothing will ever, EVER, beat the original Jurassic Park film because JEFF GOLDBLUM, duh! The first film was legendary, and it will always stay that way, but – and this is going to sound crazy coming from me as well – Jurassic World might not be the worst idea Hollywood had in a while. Granted, it’s not a reboot, exactly. Not Fantastic Four/ The Graft/ Ghostbusters kind of reboot, so maybe there’s that.

Of course, Jurassic World had its issues. Like, how is it even possible to not only forget everyone who died in the first 3 films, but also still think that playing God and creating extinct species out of nothing was a good idea? Moreover, the fact that the park officials just allowed the lab to create a genetically modified dino without thorough supervision made no sense whatsoever. I KNOW that people never learn, but that was pushing it. And I’m not going to start on the painful sexism because it’s been mentioned a gazillion times already, so it’s no news to anyone. Shame on you, whoever still has no idea how to write women!

All this considered though, the film was fun. It had decent action, top-notch CGI, a pack of circus raptors, Star Lord, a bit of romance (enough to keep it cute, but not too much to make it ridiculous), and a decent pace to keep you on the edge of your seat the whole time. And the Supersaurus, what’s-its-name. And it was funny, too. I didn’t expect it to be the next Oscar-winning masterpiece, but I got exactly what I came fore – exciting and entertaining film that I will probably want to see again. Plus, they left a good opening for a sequel, should they decide to go for it.

As for the crap Bryce Dallas Howard got for running in her heels the whole time – seriously? I’d also run in heels if the alternative was to run barefoot in the forest, from a homicidal dinosaur. Grow up, will ya?

Could this film have been better? Sure! Would it have benefited from a decent character development? Absolutely! But it could’ve been much worse as well, and frankly, I’m fine with how it turned out. I would much rather they didn’t go for the Godzilla kind of showdown in the end between the Supersaurus and the T-rex – it felt like a cliché, but otherwise it was enjoyable enough, so yay! Go dinos!

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Hello! My name is Generic White Teen and this is my little brother, Annoying Generic White Kid.

Rachel

Even after all these years, after all those movies, seeing a dinosaur on the screen will never cease to amaze me. And by the numbers that we’ve been seeing, it seems to have the same effect on everybody else, too. I was worried that the film wouldn’t have its signature Spielberg touch, but for the most part, it really did satisfy my inner Spielberg nerd. Whether it was the music or the entertainment value.

As much as I enjoyed it, it really lacked the depth and character that was so prominent in the earlier films. Owen Grady was the scruffy handsome superhero soldier (Chris Pratt tho), the kids were just typical movie kids (I mean could that teenager get anymore cliche?), Claire was the neurotic career woman who doesn’t understand children and holds handsome men at arm’s length. I really wish they would’ve spent more time on character development (or, you know, didn’t have 7 writers pass it around like a hot potato), because, as great as the dinosaurs are on their own, the story is what brings it all together.

And honestly, was the romance really that necessary? I don’t think the movie gained anything from it, or would’ve suffered anything if they had just removed it from the story completely. Dumb, is all I can say.

Jurassic Park had some deeper philosophical meanings behind all the action and the danger. And what about those goddamn fucking stellar lines? “God creates dinosaurs. God destroys dinosaurs. God creates man. Man destroys God. Man creates dinosaurs.” “Dinosaurs eat man. Woman inherits the earth.” Jurassic World feels like a superficial, meh-tastic bastardized version of the previous films that lost its soul along the way. While the CGI and the grandiose score were brilliant, it only made me feel nostalgic for the perfection that is the first film, and make me wonder why this one didn’t measure up. Piss poor writing and classic Hollywood cash cow? That sounds about right.

Sad thing with Jurassic Park is that it made such a huge impression on modern audiences that it just simply can’t be beat. Nothing will ever astound us like that movie did. It was as close as we got to L’arrivée d’un train en gare de La Ciotat as we could’ve got. And maybe that’s a good thing.

Jurassic World

You know, despite all the warnings and worldwide opposition, I didn’t actually think it would’ve turned out like this. Who knew?

The Breakdown

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Four screenwriters candidly writing about film, television, novels, comic books, video games, and fanfiction.

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