The Mentalist Finale: Everything We Wanted And More

AH. THEM.

Oh my god, guys! I quite literally can’t! Seven amazing years, and they couldn’t have ended The Mentalist any better, I swear. It was every kind of perfect, and I bawled my eyes out like a baby – I only did it maybe twice in my life, so it’s kind of a big deal. To say that the final episode(s) were mind-blowing would be a major understatement, and I cannot even begin to express my endless gratitude to the amazing writers, cast, and crew that made The Mentalist happen. It’s the end of an era, and a show this epic will forever stay in the hearts of its dedicated audience.

THANK YOU!

Well, let’s dig in!

The two-hour finale of The Mentalist begin where ‘Byzantium’ left off – namely, with the town panicking over the fact that there’s a serial killer on the loose, and with the main suspect killed, the FBI has no leads to follow. Ouchie! Apparently, the killer needs a psychic, and if you don’t pass the test, you’re screwed – re Gabriel.

Do people in movies never watch horror films? Ever? Why would you leave your house at night?! This is exactly what gets y’all killed, come on! At least this is what got Susan Herman taken from her house while her husband was checking on the suspicious car parked in the alley. *facepalm*

Cut to Jane and Lisbon being so cute I want to cry coming over to the cabin Jane found in the previous episode – the one he wants to buy and renovate and turn into an actual house for him and Lisbon. (We’re 2 minutes 30 seconds into the episode, and it’s officially more emotional than I can handle.) Aaaaaaaand she asks him about the wedding ring he’s still wearing. Understandably so. This conversation could have been super interesting, but a call from Abbott interrupts it – there’s a dead woman, and it’s not cool.

Something’s wrong this time though – something they haven’t noticed before. It looks like the killer has not only removed the fingernails from his victims, he also took their blood.

The team is under serious pressure to close the case– no surprise about that. And now that they’re short-handed, big time, Rick Tork – a former CBI Agent – joins them to help with the investigation. I bet the CBI keeps the list of people familiar with Jane’s tricks to send them over as needed. It’s easier than to introduce someone entirely new and Jane-inexperienced.

They still have no idea where to start with the killer though because there seems to be no pattern to his killings. Jane suggests that it’s probably not about the ‘who’ so much as about the ‘why’ – nails might be some kind of gross trophy, but the blood is something he obviously needs, and they could probably find the guy if they knew what for.

Sensitive guy that he is, Tork suggests they lure the killer using Jane’s ‘psychic’ talents. Yeah, remember how it ended the last time? I swear to God, I thought Lisbon would punch him. I know I would…

She follows Jane to the kitchen after he storms out of the bullpen (and away from the temptation of introducing his fist to Tork’s face, I bet), and tells him that the coroner found a tumor in Gabriel’s brain. It was most definitely the reason of his seizures, blackouts, and delusions. So much for psychic powers… She apologizes for bringing the ring up – it’s his call, and she’s cool with whatever.

Wylie comes over, telling them that they got a report on the shooting, and the killer might be dead. Except it’s not him – it’s a guy who collects recycle bottles in the neighborhood, and he was shot by someone who overreacted a little. So much for mass paranoia!

And so before everyone started firing their guns at everyone else, no questions asked, Jane agrees to try Tork’s idea, despite Lisbon’s heated protests. Let the ‘psychic bait’ operations begin!

Jane makes a few appearances on TV and radio, sounding freakishly convenient. God, I loved Lisbon’s eyerolls here. That’s my girl! For what it’s worth, the trick works – during Jane’s radio interview, they get a phone call from someone calling himself Lazarus. The man seems to know a bit too much for someone not involved in the crimes. Bingo!

The FBI tracks the call that comes from the landline, but when they show up at the house, no one is there (which is not at all surprising, seeing as how we’re only 15 minutes into the episode).

The plot thickens when Lisbon gets to the airstream and finds the door open. While on the phone with Jane, she goes in, but it’s empty – either they forgot to lock it, or the guy already left. (I wasn’t breathing while she was checking it out, gawd!) Jane gets in Tork’s car, we all sigh with relief… and someone smashes into them at full speed.  This day is just not working out for anyone.

Abbott gathers together half of the FBI, by the looks of it, and describes the situation to them – Tork is in the hospital and Jane is gone. No coffee breaks, no going home, no naps for anyone until they find him.

Then he apologizes to Lisbon for not listening to her. He’s right about one thing though – if there’s anyone who can talk their way out of anything, it’s Jane. (We’re all bleeding on the inside now)

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Speaking of which… Lazarus pulls the bag off of Jane’s head and tells him to get on with his psychic act fast. The last guy didn’t do a good job and ended up dead. No pressure though!

At the FBI, Wylie suggests they check out one of the popular occult shops because if Lazarus uses blood for something, there’s a chance someone knows him in that specific circle. Not exactly the regular FBI work, but… Jane would do that.

Jane tells Lazarus a few facts about him – his usual stuff that doesn’t require any superpowers. Now, the ghosts are another story… They’re interrupted by a phone call that summons the killer to work. How trivial! He leaves and while he’s gone, Jane manages to get himself out of the handcuffs. Amen!

Cho and Wylie have a lovely chat with the occult shop owner Kelis Weir who tells them that the people who are into human blood stuff mainly use a secret website (because they’re too cool for anything else, duh!) and she’s nice enough to give them the IP (as long as they help with some charges, but that’s details). Fist bump!

Jane snoops around the cabin he’s locked in, collecting as much info on Lazarus as he can from the bills and other personal stuff. Oh, look, a mummified body of the guy’s dad. Surprise!

After rummaging through the occult website, Wylie finds a group of people who are into rituals involving human blood. Their names are super protected – naturally – but he manages to dig one out. A college professor, Alan Saltonstall, is into real sorcery, folks!

When he’s brought in for questioning though, he refuses to speak without a lawyer. I almost laughed here, really, because I fucking dare you to stand between Lisbon and a serial killer who holds Jane captive! She’s so badass when she doesn’t care about HOW she’s going to get her answers, guys! Prof. Saltonstall cracks fast. The FBI has a list, and they are unstoppable.

By the time Lazarus returns, Jane puts himself in handcuffs again, and then does his creepy medium act, which almost works, but he doesn’t have enough info. On the bright side, Lazarus totally believes him, but for the sake of our sanity – please get out of there already, Jane!

Okay, so Lazarus’s real name is Joe Keller, and the FBI tracks down his previous landlord. She doesn’t have his new address, BUT! She has the name of the company he’s working for, so…

And it’s hardly a coincidence that Joe’s dad was the main suspect in the ‘string of killings’ case a few years back, and I don’t like the sounds of it.

While Lisbon drives to the Keller residence, Jane tells Joe that his father is waiting for him in that room where Joe keeps his body (which Jane isn’t supposed to know, so it’s impressive), and if he wants answers, he needs to go and talk to him in person. Which Joe does…

[dramatic music!]

Just as Lisbon pulls over to the Keller’s house, it blows up. Yup, Jane set a trap. Of course. There’s only so many times she can see him being blown up, man! Lisbon runs in, finds him, and demands he never do that to her again. He better not!

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Cut to: 24 hours later

Jane becomes a proud owner of his own lake, a cabin, and, well, a lot of happiness, if that dopey look on his face is any indication. I’m so happy at this point I can’t think straight, to be honest.

Well, at least their troubles are over.

Or are they?

(Because I bet this guy watching the FBI canvas the crime scene is none other than Joe Keller, frayed but still alive.)

Sometime later, Jane is in his cabin, looking over the plans and working on the whole renovations thing when Lisbon shows up with the sandwiches.

KISS!

They have a small picnic outside, and… and Lisbon notices that he’s not wearing his ring anymore.We’re all not breathing. Jane gives her a slightly awkward speech about the ring meaning a lot to him because it is both his past and his future (I had to watch it at least 3 times because I kept blacking out from ALL THE EMOTIONS IN THE WORLD). And then he asked Lisbon to marry him. AND WE ALL DIED A HAPPY DEATH BECAUSE IT WAS SO CUTE AND PERFECT AND EVERYTHING WE’VE WAITED FOR FOR 7 YEARS!!! (I bet it wasn’t what she expected when she stopped by with some snacks. I’m sorry but asdfghhjklshgff!!!!!)

KISS!

Needless to say, the FBI team is super stoked about it – because they’re us, guys! They want Jisbon to have a happy ending! I just…. Remember Cho saying he couldn’t see it? *ugly sobbing* This is so beautiful I can’t!

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Oh, hey, Lazarus! You know, you might need more than a couple of bandages and a baseball cap to cover up, I don’t know, all this blood and second-degree burns or whatever. How is this guy still walking?!

Lisbon’s brothers are happy about their big sis finally getting hitched. Yay! Right there with ya, guys! They do, however, have an entirely different opinion on the small no-guests-just-me-and-Jane ceremony Lisbon has in mind. Poor girl… I believe the guest list might need to be expanded a little bit. And, what a coincidence, Abbott‘s house has a perfect spot for a casual wedding. I bet he was planning it since ‘Blue Bird’.

Meanwhile, Wylie is having a crisis of his own – he’s not sure he’s made for the field work, but working in the bullpen with Vega’s desk right there is painful as well. He’s thinking about transfering. Until Cho tells him to stop feeling sorry for himself and asks him to stay. These two dorks are so adorable! I demand a spin-off!

To be fair, I can’t really imagine Jane staying at home and doing nothing. Hell, he caught a bad guy while buying Lisbon an engagement ring! Hm, whatcha think?

And now comes THE BEST PART OF THE EPISODE (aside from the wedding itself, perhaps). Lisbon asks Cho to help her buy the wedding dress, and maaaaaan, the guy’s an expert. I want Cho as my bridesmaid!! And as my BFF. ‘Slutty Elf’ will go down in history, you guys! Kinda ROFLing here.

Sadly though, the Lazarus case is not entirely over. Namely, Joe kidnaps and kills the news anchor who interviewed Jane during his psychic act on TV earlier – all because he needs the guy’s phone to call Tork and ask about Jane and how to find him, and we’re so screwed…

Future Mr. and Mrs. Jane apply for the official registration, and their bantering is so cute and adorable it feels like I’m dreaming. I’m actually surprised Jane didn’t suggest eloping earlier, hm… Well, on the bright side, Lisbon totally liked the ring, so—

And then Rigsby and Van Pelt call to say HOW THEY ALWAYS KNEW BECAUSE THEY ARE US AS WELL – WE ALL ALWAYS KNEW, ever since the origami frog! Naturally, Lisbon can’t not invite them, and the no-guests ceremony turns into her biggest headache.

In the meantime, Joe visits the county court hall under the presence of getting married (still bruised and bloodied *eyeroll*), and manages to sneak a peek at Jane and Lisbon’s application. Dammit!

In the meantime, the coroner’s report comes in. The remains found in the house belong to Joe Sr. only – they now know that Lazarus is still alive. So, the question is – should Lisbon and Jane know?

Lisbon’s family arrives, and if a panic attack had a face, it’d be the one she has when it happens. Yes, we all lost track of everyone who’s coming over. You’re not alone!

And no, Abbott, you can’t hide the truth from Jane, not after the FBI gets the information on the reporter being killed right at the same time Tork was supposedly talking to him, which is not good news. Yes, Jane needs to be in on the plan, whatever it is. I guess the best thing about the whole situation is how neither Abbott nor Cho even consider postponing the wedding. Nope, no way! Using it as a bait, on the other hand–

Jane finds Lisbon in the backyard of Abbott’s house, crying and freaking out BECAUSE IT ISN’T WHAT SHE WANTED! Sylvan theme is overrated anyway. He offers her to change the venue – just the two of them and the judge, in their cabin – a small thing as they planned from the start, and yes, she’s totally on board with it!

KISS

He can’t not tell her about Keller though – ya know, for the sake of not having a serial killer as a wedding surprise.

Speaking of the judge, Keller finds her. Yaaaaaay… Who is never, ever going to get in their car without checking the trunk first? This gal.

Apparently, the registry forms doesn’t ask for the venue. They do, however, ask for the name of the officiant. Which means that using Abbott’s house as a bait location doesn’t make much sense. Now, the cabin, on the other hand—

Yes, Keller shows up right after Jane and Lisbon, dressed for the ceremony, walk inside. He follows them, obviously, and is instantly surrounded by half of the law enforcement of Texas. The good guys always win in this particular story.

And then…

And then…

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And then Jane and Lisbon are finally married. No, YOU are crying! I just have a Jisbon wedding in my eye! I swear to god, I haven’t seen a more beautifully made series finale ever.

KISS

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Afterwards, while everyone is dancing and taking silly selfies, Jane and Lisbon sneak away and watch the party from across the lake, sitting on the log where he proposed to her a few days earlier. And this is when she tell him she’s pregnant.

I officially need professional help….

FOOTNOTES

Well, for one I’m really not okay with the fact that The Mentalist is over because it’s easily one of the most underrated and yet the most well written shows on TV. AND IT JUST BECAME EVERYTHING WE ALWAYS WANTED IT TO BE! What am I supposed to do with my life now?!

In general, the finale was impeccable. They tied up all the loose ends, gave us a perfect romcom ending while also leaving some things up for imagination – and fanfiction, I believe. What will happen to Cho and Wylie? Will Lisbon actually stay at the FBI? Will Jane? After all, it IS hard to walk away from all the riddles, and yes, he can’t do it forever, but he’d also probably grow bored pretty fast doing nothing with his inquisitive mind. Or worse – he’d start driving Lisbon crazy. I vote for him being a stay at home dad though. Man, wouldn’t that be lovely?

The possibilities are endless at this point. There’s so much that could be said and done, and the ending is bittersweet and nice. After all, at the end of the day, it was a story about a man learning to live again. To believe in everything he thought was gone forever. A man who makes a full circle, who starts with nothing and ends up having everything he’s ever wanted to have. Yes, it might be viewed as a cliché, and many would disagree with this kind of ending for a crime show.

The Mentalist, however, is not just a crime show, and never has been. It’s always been a show about human nature, and why’s instead of how’s. It’s always been focused on what makes us who we are and why we do the things we do. Therefore making the ending of the story about people rather than the case is the only way to give it a proper closure.

There was a big debate going on online at some point about whether The Mentalist should have ended with Red John’s death because they basically rebooted the whole show afterwards, changing the format, the setting, the cast, and it felt like having a rug yanked from under your feet. It was weird. But the thing is, The Mentalist never was about Red John, despite the fact that Jane was insanely fixated on him. It was about Patrick Jane founding peace with himself, and revenge is not always how you achieve it, not exactly. The story had to keep going.

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It was nice to see Rigsby and Van Pelt again, and I totally didn’t cry. They were a huge part of the team for so long that not bringing them back for the final episode would be a crime, for all I know. I’m still pissed though that Sam and Pete (Jane’s carnie family), and Kim Fischer weren’t there, but the celebration was lovely nonetheless.

And now that we’re on it, the more I think about it, the less sense Vega’s death makes after all. They could have skipped the whole ‘Nothing Gold Can Stay’, keep her alive, and still end the show the way they did without losing anything. Jane already had doubts about EVERYTHING IN THE WORLD by the time she dies, and yes, it was big and it hit him hard, but just putting someone in a hospital might have as well done the same thing, so WHY?! *headdesk* This is basically my biggest problem with this season, that was otherwise short of perfect.

The only hiccup I had was Jane’s ring. On the one hand, it was nice to see Lisbon being bothered by it – who wouldn’t be? After all, she had every right to know where exactly Jane stood in their relationship. But on the other hand, I really, REALLY wanted him to take the ring off on his own accord. I wanted it to be his own decision, 1000%. However, if they wanted Lisbon to bring it up, it should have been done earlier in the season. In fact, I’d probably really like him to come back from Arizona without it, or something like that. Bringing it up, and having him take it off in just one episode felt rushed.

On that note, I’m so ridiculously happy about Lisbon wearing Jan’e wedding ring on the chain with her cross. It was such a sweet touch, and so meaningful.

What did work perfectly was the small romantic gestures we all craved like crazy ever since ‘Nothing But Blue Skies’. The writers made it clear from the start that The Mentalist, unlike Castle, was not going to exploit a romantic side of the relationship between Jane and Lisbon, but, let’s face it, we all wanted to see the personal interaction between the two of them. I frankly cannot even begin to say how grateful I am for what we’ve got in the end. Not over the top, but just the right amount of sassy and cute, and yet the show remained true to its ‘crime’ nature till the end, catching the killer minutes before the ceremony. Come on, how badass is that?!

Also – Team Cho and Wylie FTW!

The cruel thing though was having Simon Baker say in his sexy voice ‘Stay tuned for scenes from our next episode’ in the end – the way the episodes always end. Except, there’s no next episode. Ever. So yeah, thanks for the sucker punch. 😉

A round of applause for Bruno Heller, Simon Baker, Robin Tunney, Tim Kang, Rockmond Dunbar, Joe Adler, Josie Loren, Owain Yeoman, Amanda Righetti, Emily Swallow, and other members of writers, cast, and crew who made The Mentalist happen!

MEMORABLE QUOTES

Lisbon: Did you buy me another horse?

Tork:  He’ll never tell you what he’s up to, whatever he does, you’ll look like an idiot. And always keep your hand on your wallet. Abbott: Well, you do know the man.

Wylie: Jane would go. He’d say, “Do the usual thing, you get the usual result,” which, in this case, is him dead.

Lisbon: It’s not a threat. It’s a promise.

Lisbon: Don’t you ever do that to me again, ever.

The realtor: Now, usually this is where I hand over the keys, but there aren’t any.

Lisbon: I brought sandwiches.
Jane: Those are the magic words.

tumblr_nk0hfcwF8z1u4gp1yo1_1280(Blue cup!!)

Jane: No, even after all these years, you’re still a mystery to me.

Stan: If we’re not there, mom’s gonna spin in her grave like a freaking crankshaft.

Lisbon: How did you know that?
Jane: When we’re married, do you think you might stop asking that question?

Cho: You made some mistakes going after Keller? Welcome to the club. I bat 300 on a good day. You miss Vega. Now remember who she was. She’d never run away from a challenge like this, and neither should you.

Cho: So stick around.
Wylie: Or what, you’ll hit me again?

Lisbon: What do you think?
Cho: Makes you look short… Snow cone…. Slutty elf….You want a simple piece with clean lines, maybe something vintage and off-white.
Lisbon [to the sales woman]: What he said.

Lisbon: I asked you along ’cause I thought you’d be honest.I had no idea you were such a fashion expert.
Cho: Not me. My mom could run up a designer gown before breakfast, cut her cloth by eye.
Lisbon: Cool. My mom had a sewing machine, but it was always in hock.

Jane: Oh, if I just remembered how tedious this aspect of the marriage is, I might not have asked you.
Lisbon: Shush.
Jane: No, seriously. I’m only on page two. You know, I could just give you the ring and we could elope.
Lisbon: Don’t be mean. No take-backs.

Jane: All right, let’s file this sucker.

Wylie: Is there a gift registry?
Lisbon: Uh, no gifts.
Wylie: Is there a trousseau?
Lisbon: I don’t know. What is that exactly?

Rigsby: We always knew.
Van Pelt: We always knew? I always knew.

Lisbon: We should have just eloped like you said.
Jane: What about your family?
Lisbon: Oh, they wouldn’t care. I just talked to them at the hotel. They found a minibar. They’re like cavemen arguing over a dead antelope.

Lisbon: And see how much better things turn out when you’re honest with me?
Jane: Thank you.
Lisbon: Let’s do this.
Jane [to Lazarus]: No hard feelings.

Jane: You are?
Lisbon: I am.

*DISCLAIMER: The images belong to their original owners.

A coffee junkie and a passionate traveler, Nadin is in love with all things writing – because who wants to live in the real world, anyway? TV or films – everything needs to be fast paced and dramatic. Scary? Even better! A vampire at heart, she can always be found in her cave, glued to her laptop. As a dedicated yogi and someone who can easily hike all the way to Alaska, Nadin thinks she’s the unhealthiest healthy person ever – because pizza, duh? She strongly believes that live needs to be lived, so… walk away from whatever makes you sad and make things happen!

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