The Mentalist: Nothing Gold Can Stay Will Make You Weep

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Just to sum up ‘Nothing Gold Can Stay’ real quick – WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL JUST HAPPENED?! I cannot believe they did this to us with only a few episodes left! And yes, we all knew this episode was going to be sad *cough* promo *cough*, but ripping our hearts outs out and then stomping all over them? Overkill much, Bruno Heller? Who is going to cover my therapy bills now?!

Aaaaaanyway….

‘Nothing Gold Can Stay’ starts with a massive robbery – masked guys, guns, and all that. You get the picture. The next thing we see is Jane and Lisbon arriving at the crime scene and discussing a romantic getaway as they walk towards the other team members. Rustic cabin or a place with room service and mints on the pillows? Tough call! If only I believe they’d actually get anywhere with it *sigh*

While Vega retrieves security footage, Jane does his Jane thing and identifies the possible accomplice among the bank employees, Ken Fletcher, who promptly faints right into Cho’s arms. Sweet!

They can’t pin anything on Fletcher though because owning a burner phone is not exactly a crime, and his shifty behavior isn’t either – the team needs something more solid. Like bad guys with a confession.

After talking to Fletcher, Abbott offers Cho to take the lead on the case, try being the team leader for practice and all that.

In the meantime, Wylie mentions a League of Legends tournament in Houston to Vega, and she wants in! And she wouldn’t mind having a dinner afterwards. D’awwwww! Aren’t they adorable? (I’m already sobbing on the inside)

As for the case, the burner phone is a dead end obviously, but Fletcher had to have met the robbers in person at least once, logically speaking. Cho tells Wylie to ping his personal phone and track down his movements, and then send the info to him and Vega. Field work time!

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Once they’re gone, Wylie puts the tracking program to work and then goes to have a man-to-man talk with Abbott – about girls and dates and stuff. Naturally, Abbott has already guessed what’s going with him and Vega. Wylie is so adorable in trying to make it work, maaaaaan I agree with Abbott though – getting her to say yes was the hard part. All else is minor, really.

As they set off to check the list of locations Fletcher visited lately, Vega asks Cho is he’s excited about taking over the team eventually, and I swear to god it was the funniest moment in I don’t know how long. Have you met Cho? His excited face and his bored face and his impressed/not impressed face are all the same face!

Back at the office, Lisbon is going through the security footage when Jane arrives with a box of ‘pillow mints’ for her, announcing that he booked a nice place for them for the weekend. If he isn’t a perfect BF, I don’t know who is *sigh* As for the security footage, they promptly figure out who the leader of the robber gang is, and what to look for in potential suspects – a slight limp, probably notable.

As this happens, Cho and Vega arrive at the diner – the spot #4 on the list that Wylie sent to them. Aaaaand we have a hit! While Cho chats with one of the waitresses, Vega spots the guy wearing the shoes with different soles to compensate for shortage of one of his legs – something Lisbon told her to look out for. Unfortunately, the robbers are not going down without a fight. A short shooting and an even shorter pursuit later, they are gone. One of them is wounded but I DON’T CARE BECAUSE SO IS VEGA AND SHE’S LITERARY BLEEDING OUT IN CHO’S ARMS!!! And why the hell didn’t 30-something people in the diner call 911 RIGHT AWAY?! Omg! /ugly sobbing/

The team rushes to the hospital, but it’s too late….

I swear to god I hate this show so much.

Yes, let’s show Wylie sitting at his desk and staring at Vega’s ringing phone that she’s never going to pick up. Nicely done, Bruno Heller! Nicely done!

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Detective Brian Portis from the Austin Homicide arrives at the FBI to take over the case because it’s a rule that the team can’t investigate the murder of their colleague. Abbott is sort of cool with it – he doesn’t care who takes the credit for the arrest or whatever, but he makes it clear that the case is still theirs no matter what. Portis agrees.

And if Wylie being all sorts of miserable didn’t break my heart already, Cho making a phone call to Vega’s aunt to tell her about Michelle totally pulls the last string. Did I mention I hate this show? Mainly because being a sobbing mess is my least favorite thing in the world. Period. We never see Cho break down, and I just can’t–

On the bright side, they have a list of suspects – a guy named Steve Sellers and the brothers Brunell…. BUT WHO CARES WHEN IT’S ALL OVER FOR VEGA?! UGH!

Jane and Lisbon share a small ‘I have no idea what to do with my life’ moment. Right there with you guys! Of course, he don’t believe in afterlife. Of course, she does….

Well, at least the case is moving on – the gas station clerk recognized the suspects when they came looking for bandages. (At the gas station?! My god, they must be desperate). Portis offers to raid the area, but Jane suggests they keep it quiet and post an officer at every drug store in the neighborhood around said gas station, lest they spook the robbers and either have them flee, or cause any more collateral damage.

And so they do that! Except when Abbott sees one of them near his assigned location and reports it, some idiot comes rushing in with tires screeching and sirens blaring. [insert facepalm here] Not only do they no arrest anyone, the robbers take two people hostage and hide in their house, demanding food, a doctor for the wounded Brunell brother, and a helicopter. [more facepalm] It couldn’t have been more cliché, really.

The house is surrounded, of course, by what looks like half of the police force of Texas. The doctor is obviously out of the question – by helping them, the FBI would lose their best leverage. They choose to send over the pizza instead! Bugged pizza, naturally.

The robbers are not happy with the outcome. The food is good, but the non-wounded Brunell is worried about his brother, and the doctor will only be available upon surrender. As for Sellers, he just wants to get out of this mess, dead brother or not. Which is exactly Jane’s plan, sort of. To make things more interesting, Jane ‘spices up’ the news coverage of the events that the robbers are following on TV.

However, it’s not enough, and Cho decides to go in, whatever the risk – before the hostages got hurt, even if it means putting the team in danger. Well, they’re the FBI after all, so…

Jane disagrees through. Big time. And instead of staying someplace safe, he chooses to offer himself in exchange for one of the hostages, saying that he’d be a better leverage than the random stranger. For what it’s worth, Sellers agrees, pulling Jane into the house.

Once inside, Jane checks on the elderly Mrs. Cofield who has diabetes, managing to slightly hypnotize her into something resembling the beginning of a diabetic shock in order to get her safely out of the house and in the hands of the paramedics. While Brunell takes her out, Jane plants a few more seeds of doubt into Sellers’s mind.

Unsurprisingly, it works. Brunell and Sellers turn on each other, as in – Sellers shoots Brunell, and then the police storm into the house, taking down Sellers. Hooray!

….

And then – the funeral scene, with ‘Letters From The Sky’ by Civil Twilight playing as we watch the procession and the burial. Who knew that a song could feel like a sucker punch, huh? (No, YOU are crying!)

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Afterwards, Lisbon finds Jane, wallowing quietly away from the big black waves of everyone else’s grief. She tells him that she’s not much into going anywhere this weekend – and understandably so. You’d expect some shared consolation here, but instead Jane tells her that he can’t take the stress of watching her risk her life on a daily basis anymore. He’s leaving, and she can go with him, or she can stay. With that he leaves her. Alone. At the cemetery.

GODDAMMIT!!!

FOOTNOTES

~ DID THEY HAVE TO USE ‘LETTERS FROM THE SKY’ BY CIVIL TWILIGHT FOR THE FUNERAL SCENE?! It’s, like, the only saddest song in the whole world! That’s just cruel, people. Seriously cruel.

~ I knew it would be Vega – Josie Loren tweeted her goodbyes long before they finished shooting the season, she wasn’t in the funeral scene in the promo, or in the recent video interviews of the cast, so…. It still didn’t prepare me for all the sadness. All things considered, ‘Nothing Gold Can Stay’ is THE saddest episode of this show.

~ Rant alert! So, The Mentalist’s writers/showrunners/etc. admitted knowing from the start what Vega’s fate would be. Are you fucking kidding me!? So, you take your time to create an awesome character – female character, let me remind you, then give us 10 episodes to fall in love with her just so that she could be nothing but a stupid plot device in the end?! Which part of this is even remotely okay?! I’m not even sure if I’m mad at the whole ‘we knew where this was all going from the start’, or ‘let’s make her super nice and smart and badass before offing her’, or at the fact that women are, apparently, only good for facilitating the development of the male characters.

I’m tempted to punch something right now because, at the end of the day, the death of quite possibly the best supporting character on the show was ALL ABOUT PATRICK JANE! And yes, it’s Jane’s show, but they never made the world spin around him before – they never used anyone like that before, and although the episode was insanely sad, I’m more angry than devastated right now. Vega had so much potential, and so much promise! Honestly, I don’t care WHY they think they did it – her death was pointless, and unnecessary, especially with just a handful of episodes left.

So, instead of making season 7 as fun as possible, they choose to go for dread and fear, and let’s face it – none of us will ever be comfortable until the end now, not with knowing that everyone is expendable.

~ The acting however was impeccable. There were maybe 5 times ever that I cried because of something that happened on TV. Tim Kang’s and Robin Tunney’s performances were particularly brilliant, although all of them did an amazing job [at ripping our hearts out, thank you very much].

~ WHY THE HELL AREN’T THEY WEARING THEIR BULLET PROOF VESTS 24/7?! Seriously, people, it’s not like you haven’t been there before! WHYYYY?! In other news, it’s particularly devastating to know that the League of Legends date will never happen. It’s just not fair, and the over the top drama feels like too much at this point. As for Jane and Lisbon, they’ve been through hell since they met. They’ve been through a lifetime of crap together. So, is this angst at the very end of the show necessary? Yes, no one wants to see happy stories, the good stuff is all about drama, we all know that. But there’s limit to it, no?

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~ I don’t know how I feel about Cho taking Abbott’s place right now. Sure he’s a great cop, and most of the time he makes good decisions, but – hypothetically speaking – he’d never be able to work with Jane because he doesn’t trust Jane, and even though I’m 130% sure he wouldn’t have to because Jane would leave, with Lisbon in tow, it’s still… sad.

~ On the bright side, things can’t possibly get any worse, so….

MEMORABLE QUOTES

Abbott: So you got the burner phone because of your blood sugar?

Abbott: This is not my first rodeo.

Vega: So, are there any changes you’re going to make when you take over?
Cho: Yeah. A new rule. Rookie agents are seen and not heard.
Vega: Good luck with that.

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Lisbon: Well, are you gonna like it? It doesn’t sound very rustic.
Jane: Yeah, I’ll find a tree.

Lisbon: Did I say you could have one of those?

Jane: Me dying, it’s — it’s It doesn’t hurt me.

A coffee junkie and a passionate traveler, Nadin is in love with all things writing – because who wants to live in the real world, anyway? TV or films – everything needs to be fast paced and dramatic. Scary? Even better! A vampire at heart, she can always be found in her cave, glued to her laptop. As a dedicated yogi and someone who can easily hike all the way to Alaska, Nadin thinks she’s the unhealthiest healthy person ever – because pizza, duh? She strongly believes that live needs to be lived, so… walk away from whatever makes you sad and make things happen!

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