The Mentalist: Care For Some Orange Blossom Ice Cream?

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FIELDTRIP! You can take the girl out of the mountains but you can’t—

Never mind. The point is, it’s always interesting when the show changes the setting for an episode or two, giving you a chance to see the sides of the characters and stories you don’t usually see. Also, how is The Mentalist getting better with each episode? Consider yourselves warned!

Following the ‘terrorists and smugglers’ storyline established in the previous episodes, “Orange Blossom Ice Cream” (mmmm, yummy title!) introduces us to Jan Nemic, a guns-bombs-explosives supplier currently residing – or hiding – in Beirut. He just sold a millions-worth of passport chips to Jihad terrorists to forge passports and get people in and out of the country undetected. Just to sum it up real quick – it’s bad, bad news. Luckily, his girlfriend, who happens to be Erica Flynn (Morena Baccarin), is not exactly the ‘happily ever after’ kind. She agrees to help the FBI get Nemic, but, of course, under a couple of conditions – her prison time upon extradition should be reduced and she will only work with Patrick Jane and no one else. Figures.

Of course, Lisbon is a part of the operations, even though she is not entirely cool with helping Erica avoid prison, but if Jane goes to Beirut, he’ll need a partner, and they’ve done it before, so there shouldn’t be a problem – Abbott’s words, not mine! I swear to God he knows! His face was like, ‘Besides, it’s not like you’re not going home together every night anyway, so…’

Wow, Beirut looks nice! To be fair, it’d hardly ever be my choice of vacation spot, but let’s talk about how it’s almost a romantic getaway for Jane and Lisbon—

Oh, snap. There’s Erica in their room. Serving tea. Being smooth as hell. She has ‘Bad news’ written all over her. I mean, seriously, lady, your ulterior motives are so obvious it’s not even funny. But business first – a small chit chat later, she takes Jane to meet Nemic and discuss the whole courier thing. Speaking of how your talents and good memory can come and bite you in the ass.

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*Lisbon’s expressions in this episode are the best!

Jan Nemic (Mark Ivanir) is one hell of a host. Just remember, kids, if someone invites you over and then takes you to the bathroom and dunks your head in the bathtub full of water – not good!

The meeting scene between Jane and Nemic is golden. We don’t often see Jane genuinely pissed off, but some people are just THAT good at getting under his skin. They negotiate the deal and all would be right and well, if only Erica wasn’t such a bitch – the kind of bitch that sold Lisbon to Nemic and blew her cover. GAWD! In other news, Wylie deserves a standing ovation for creating a fake profile for Lisbon and making it impossible for anyone to trace her back to the FBI.

This show will be the death of me…

On the bright side, Nemic is all cool with Jane being his courier. All he has to do is memorize almost a hundred random numbers in a precise order, or the deal won’t happen. Personally, I can’t memorize my own phone number, so they totally lost me here. Let’s move on!

Cut to the hotel room where Erica and Lisbon are wating it out, and OF COURSE ERICA HAD TO DROP THE BOMB AND MENTION THE STUPID KISS BETWEEN HER AND JANE THAT HAPPENED YEEEEEAAAAARS AGO! Now, don’t get me wrong, I love Morena Baccarin to death, she is one hell of a gorgeous human being, but Erica Flynn needs to get a bullet in her face ASAP.

I don’t really have to mention that Lisbon is pissed off, do I? Also, when will men learn that when women say that everything is fine, it is actually anything but fine? Jeez!

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Back at the FBI, Wylie is crushing on Vega, and Vera is crushing on field job, and as much as I don’t like her, I can’t really blame her. Who likes being stuck in the office, doing paper work? … YOU DID NOT JUST LIE TO CHO! This is going to backfire…

Probably later, though. Because for now they got the bad guy, and all is right in the world. Except he doesn’t have the passport chips, but THEY GOT THE BAD GUY! They also kind of killed him in the process, but it’s just a technicality… right?

Now, let’s talk about THE most awkward dinner ever. How did Lisbon make it this far without biting Jane’s head off, again? I’m not saying that people in a relationship should have zero secrets. It is ridiculous and impossible. But seriously, you DO come clean when you and your girlfriend have to work with someone like Erica Flynn – someone who obviously can’t keep their mouth shut. And cut the ‘I didn’t want to hurt you’ crap! I bet hearing about that stuff from the third party wasn’t the highlight of Lisbon’s day, all things considered. Then again, with the mention of Walter Washburn – Lisbon’s not so fortunate fling from earlier seasons – everything is magically forgiven and forgotten!

In the meantime, the FBI hits a brick wall with the code, which they can’t crack without knowing what the second part of the key is. Jane suggests it’s a book, since Nemic seemed to have too many of them for someone who is not particularly intellectual. So, it’s all about finding which one it is—Oh, no, you’re not calling Erica!

Of course he is. Trust Jane to be… Jane. I mean it’s not like they’re going to break into Nemic’s house—Never mind. Now, lady, keep your hands off of him!

Well, that was almost easy. I mean they could have been killed, but we all know that stuff like this is usually reserved for the series finale, not the third episode of the season.

Okay, let me mention just how effing stupid it is to hide something EXTREMELY valuable in the fold of a drape! Like, HOW? Although the mobsters not being the sharpest tools in the shed saved the FBI the trouble of tearing up the floorboards, so…

Back in Beirut, the police is very busy escorting a very angry Nemic out of his house while he shouts at his girlfriend in a language most of us don’t understand. Lisbon arrives there to monitor the whole thing and is not at all happy to find Jane comforting a very distressed Erica. They have a fake fight – which you’d recognize if you watched the show for more than 5 minutes but which we’re not supposed to know yet, so shhhhh! – and Lisbon leaves. Sort of.

Thinking that she won, Erica reveals her true plans to Jane – she planned to rat Nemic out to the FBI and then take off with the money he got for the passport chips. Brilliant. She also thinks that she and Jane are true soul mates because, apparently, they laugh at the same things. It doesn’t make much sense, but she’s been delusional for quite a while now. Nice try, by the way! Jane loves Lisbon – and not at all ashamed to admit it out loud. … And that Taser must’ve hurt. Ouch!

Thank God Lisbon is on the other side of the door, waiting to personally escort Erica to prison. Hooray!

I’m sad – NOT!! – to say that Cho caught Vega on her lying and she’s no longer allowed to play with serious people and swing her gun around. CALLED IT! Please don’t tell me she actually thought she’d walk away with it. *eyeroll*

But who cares about all this when Jane arranges a romantic dessert time for Lisbon on the rooftop where they eat Orange Blossom Ice Cream and watch fireworks? So what if they’re late for their flight?

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FOOTNOTES

~ Not being a fan of the whole ‘love triangle’ thing, I’ve got to admit that it occasionally helps get some issues out of the way and move the things between the people forward. Both Lisbon and Jane come with some baggage, but now they’re probably cool to never mention it again and just move on.

~ Did I mention that Morena Baccarin is freaking awesome?! … Still, hope we’ll never hear about Erica Flynn again.

~ YAY to actual Russian-speaking actors playing Russian-speaking mobsters. There are very few things that are as painful as obviously inauthentic pronunciations (I’m looking at you, Mickey Rourke from Iron Man 2. My brain is still bleeding). Erm, I hope you guys understood all the swearing.

~ Wylie is like a lost puppy, waiting for someone to pat him on the head and tell him he’s a good boy.

~ JANE AND LISBON HOLDING HANDS IN THE CAR!!

~ JANE A LISBON STAYING IN THE SAME HOTEL ROOM!!

~ JANE SAYING HE LOVES LISBON!!

~ FIREWORKS!!!

~ I guess I can’t stress just how much the progression of their relationship rocks. On the other hand, I’m happy that The Mentalist is not shoving too much intimacy in our faces the way some other show do when the couples get together. It makes the small moments count.

~ And speaking of which – in the previous seasons, the rest of the team also had some kind of stories going on, and it’d be super cool if we saw something personal happening to Cho or Abbott, just for the sake of maintaining the integrity of the show.

~ Can I have the next episode now?

A coffee junkie and a passionate traveler, Nadin is in love with all things writing – because who wants to live in the real world, anyway? TV or films – everything needs to be fast paced and dramatic. Scary? Even better! A vampire at heart, she can always be found in her cave, glued to her laptop. As a dedicated yogi and someone who can easily hike all the way to Alaska, Nadin thinks she’s the unhealthiest healthy person ever – because pizza, duh? She strongly believes that live needs to be lived, so… walk away from whatever makes you sad and make things happen!

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