The other day I was out for beer with friends and someone turned to me and mistakenly uttered this phrase:
“Hey, you read comics, right? What’s good? What should I be reading?”
And I proceeded to talk this gal’s ear off for forty minutes. Her fault. I blame naïve people who ask writers anything after they’ve had a few pints of no-no juice. Writers are antisocial until you ask them about stories they like. They’re wild animals that will either run for it or jump on your face and eat your ears off. In this case, eating ears translates roughly to blathering on and on about some of my favourite comics right now.
So, if you aren’t currently reading these gems, get out to your local store and drop mad cheddar on these books. They are the opposite of donk berries, which taste like butt and are highly toxic. They are golden donk berries, which taste like chocolate rainbows and make your coat thick and shiny.
Shut up forever, Saga. It’s a crazy blend of sci-fi and fantasy, like the way Star Wars is an epic space opera that defies the logic of never mixing those genres. Saga is written by Brian K. Vaughan and illustrated by Fiona Staples. It’s beautiful, funny, adventurous, and will kick you straight in the feels-nuts when you least expect it. Go on this journey with Alana and Marko, star-crossed lovers who banged themselves to parenthood and are now space fugitives from both of their planets. She’s got wings and he’s got horns, so of course their people are at war. And there’s other people with TVs for heads and the babysitter is a disembowelled ghost and there are space bounty hunters and you should just go read it before I spoil everything.
Also published monthly, Sex Criminals is both less and more naughty than the name implies. The comic is written by Matt Fraction and illustrated by Chip Zdarsky. Basically, when Suzie and Jon have orgasms, they freeze time. They decide to rob a bank to save her library. But what Sex Criminals is really about will leave you raw and open, ready to confess all of your sexual misadventures and bouts with mental illness. Read the letters at the back of each issue. Sex Criminals is so honest about relationships, sex, and our brain jazz (opportunity missed Roz, brain jizz, get your shit together, come on), the only way to tell these stories is with the lube of comedy and the tickler of truth. Read it. Share it. Tell people about brimping. And ladies, it’s time to get ours. Suzie will lead us to the holy place. (I mean our vaginas.)
God Hates Astronauts
Are you tired of reading things that are too normal and make too much sense? Do you love Adventure Time but think it needs more bananas crammed up its whimsy tailpipe?
Here, I’m randomly opening the first issue of God Hates Astronauts to share the crazy with you. The crazy awesome. This astro-farmer is buying a chicken and kissing her, here’s Admiral Tiger Eating A Cheeseburger, son of King Tiger Eating A Cheeseburger, a horse drinking beer, another guy says that Dr. Professor is an idiot while a hippo rides a chariot pulled by NASA centaurs… Mm hm. Mm hm. I don’t follow any of this but I LIKE IT. Ryan Browne obnoxiously presents for us this opus of oddity. Go read it. YOU ARE WELCOME.
Guys. Gals. Others. Boths. Chickens. If you haven’t heard of Chew, you are about to binge read until you burst. Get a taste for it, you’ll see what I did there. Tony Chu is a US FDA agent and cibopath. When he eats something, he gets a psychic impression of its entire past. This sucks if you don’t want to know about how your beef was slaughtered, but is great if you have the stomach to solve crime. The world of Chew is peppered with people who have crazy food related powers. It’s also a world where the bird flu was a huge conspiracy leading to a ban on all things chicken. Read it. Read it. Read it. I had my socks knocked off and then I ate them. I can’t wait for you to meet Poyo. Now I’m hungry. For chicken. And justice.
The latest She-Hulk series, written by Charles Soule and drawn by Javier Pulido, is amazing. Just fucking amazing. But bad news kids, Marvel announced in October 2014 that She-Hulk #12 will be the series’ final issue. It’s bullshit. BULLSHIT! I’m hulking out!! I’M SO MAD!! ROZ SMASH!! Seriously, this comic is good. It’s got all the single female lawyering you love about Jen Walters and all the face punching, ass kicking you demand from She-Hulk. The art is stylish and quirky, the plots are intriguing and fun, and She-Hulk is a sexy beast. A SEXY BEAST. It can’t end so soon. Check out A.V. Club’s Oliver Sava’s discussion of the series and why we all have to run out and dollar vote to save She-Hulk. Be a hero. Buy She-Hulk. Save my life.
– Roz Y.