Maleficent = Queen Angelina is the Queen of All


Our Rating

Hello, everyone. Yes, it is I. No, I am not dead. I am quite alive. Sort of.

I had the pleasure of watching Maleficent in IMAX theatres the other day, and I must say it was quite the experience.

Maleficent brings a fresh new twist on an old tale, showing us that one of the most eponymous villainesses in all of fairy tale history is not quite as evil as we thought she was. We follow the story of Maleficent, from when she was an innocent little girl to the fully fledged monster/anti-hero she becomes.

Maleficent’s tragic story stems from a naive young girl’s notions of true love. She falls in love with a peasant boy, who soon betrays her for his ambition to be king. Devastated and hell-bent on getting her revenge, she curses the new king’s young daughter. As the story unfolds, an interesting twist reveals itself, and Maleficent slowly grows fond of the young Princess Aurora. Meanwhile, the greedy king (wonderfully talented Sharlto Copley) simmers behind the walls of his castle, determined to destroy the creature he once loved.

“I have a habit of playing insane men with bad hair and questionable hygiene.”

Of course, the best part of the movie is our beautiful Angelina Jolie. Though the movie in itself is not that great (the script needs some work, and Elle Fanning is a little meh), but all that just doesn’t seem all that important when Angelina comes onto the screen.

Can someone be too beautiful for a role? While Angelina did an amazing job of emanating an empathetic villain, I found myself entranced by her incredible bone structure and perfectly white teeth. Not to mention those succulent lips. Every blink, every smile, every wave of her beautifully shaped limbs had me gaping. And those dazzling costumes. Good lord. It was almost a little too distracting from the rest of the movie. In fact, her beauty and her star power DID overwhelm the rest of the movie. Everything else fades away in comparison to Queen Angelina. Just sayin’.

These people should worship her for her cheekbones alone. Seriously.

Maybe that’s why I was so delighted when Maleficient – a supposedly cruel and nasty witch – peered into baby Aurora’s crib and sneered, “I hate you.” I found it absolutely hilarious.

How Maleficent bonded with the child she once hated so much, was definitely the highlight of the movie. It was unexpected for me(the trailers don’t show you that much), and a lovely twist on the story. Seeing a broken-hearted woman determined to get revenge on the one she once loved, she finds herself in the odd predicament of falling in a different kind of love with someone else, was fantastic. Her story is one of betrayal, tragedy, but ultimately, one of redemption.

Better than Snow White and the Huntsman, that’s all I can say. At least Elle Fanning doesn’t have the emotional range of a piece of plywood (looking at you, Kristen Stewart).

I can’t explain the tone of the movie as well as this song can. Lana Del Rey’s smoke and honey vocals literally transports you to another world. I stayed to watch the credits, but found myself listening to this song instead.

All in all, watch it for Queen Angelina.

– Rachel C.

The Breakdown

One day she hopes to reach a new state of being which requires no sustenance other than alcohol and pure, unadulterated rage. Imagine the shit she’ll write then, huh?

1 Comment

    June 11, 2014


    Looks like a great movie, terrific cast and beautifully shot. I like this kind of fantasy storytelling, it’s totally my thing. Thanks for the review! I’ll surely go and see this movie.