So… Episode three. I totally recapped it in my mind. I did it a thousand times and then when I tried to actually write it down, I almost threw my computer out the window out of pure rage. We’ll have to talk about that episode 3 one day. But not today.
The only really significant event of episode 3 despite the obvious scene that set the fandom on fire, was probably Dany arriving at the doors of Meereen and Daario being badass. Tyrion was imprisoned, Lord Tywin tried to buy Oberyn Too-Sexy-For-His-Pants Martell and Peter Baelish became a thing again. Can you remember the last time you saw that dude before that episode?
Just so we’re completely clear on one thing though: it was rape and the decision of making it a rape was the biggest fuck you that the writers and creators of the show have ever given to the original source material.
Anyway. On with episode 4.
No one can give you your freedom, brothers. If you want it, you must take it. -Grey Worm
Missandei teaches Grey Worm English, which constitutes an excellent occasion for them to shares memories of their respective islands. That is, the little Missandei actually remembers. While she still feel attached to her almost forgotten origins, Grey Worm reminds her of his nature. He is an Unsullied. There was nothing before and there will be nothing after. The scene is bittersweet and I barely have time to realize how strong the chemistry is between those characters before Daenaerys interrupts them. It is time for Grey Worm to go do his duty.
We find Grey Worm later that night, as he and some of his fellow Unsullied infiltrate the slave quarters, where the Meereenese slaves debate: should they or should they not rebel against their masters? Grey Worm and the Unsullied interrupt them only to give them an answer in the form of weapons.
At dawn, soldiers and masters find bloody words on the walls of the city: “Kill the masters”… In English. Come on! I know there is probably not an alphabet for the language the Meereenese speak, but English was the laziest and most inaccurate choice they could have made. Anyway. Rebellion ensues.
In the morning, Daenaerys, acclaimed by the Meereenese newly freed people and against the advice of Ser Barristan, commands that one master be crucified for each dead little girl that she found on her way to Meereen. We leave Dany as she listens to the screams of the dying masters, under the banner of the Targaryen draped over the great harpy of Meereen.
That was me knocking your ass to the dirt with your own hand. – Bronn
We find Jaime and Bronn sparring. Jaime seems to have made a lot of progress and resists Bronn’s assaults until the salesword grabs his golden hand and slaps him with it. Classy. Jaime protests that Bronn is fighting dirty but Bronn brings up one more time that fighting is more about winning than being fair. They then come to talk about Tyrion and the question arises: “Do you think he did it?” Jaime asks. Bronn doesn’t believe Tyrion is a murderer but tell Jaime to ask his brother himself, right before guessing that Jaime hasn’t visited Tyrion yet. Seeing Jaime’s conflicted attitude towards his brother, Bronn reveals how much Tyrion trusts Jaime, which leaves the Kingslayer with no choice.
The Kingslayer brothers. Do you like it? I like it. – Tyrion
Jaime visits Tyrion. He tries to cheer him up by telling him how so much worse hiw own cell was when he was a captive of the Starks. While they’re talking about Tyrion’s future trial, Tyrion asks about Cersei and Jaime casually mention that she asked him to kill him. The scene is made of those little sentences, thrown in the conversation like nothing matters, like the Lannisters are not being torn apart by hatred. The dialogue has a bite that matches the gloomy atmosphere of the scene until Tyrion mentions with a faigned candor that Jaime could set him free, proving once more how much he looks up to his brother. Jaime refuses, still trying to convince himself that the trial would be fair. He points out that Tyrion is not the only one who Cersei wants to see dead. Sansa. Jaime believes she killed Joffrey but not Tyrion. He doesn’t think Sansa is a killer. Or at least, not yet.
If they catch you, they’ll put your head on a spike, just like my father’s. You’d risk that just to confuse them? – Sansa
Speaking of redheads, Sansa has a long conversation with Peter Baelish as the ship sails away. Peter reveals to Sansa that they are on their way to the Eyrie, where Littlefinger will marry Lysa, Sansa’s aunt. Sansa’s reaction is somewhere between relief and curiosity and she asks the question without hesitation: did Peter Baelish kill Joffrey? Peter transforms his own answer (which can be resumed to “yes, but you’ll have to prove it”)into a question, forcing Sansa to reveal her brand new ability to think. She quickly deduces that Littlefinger’s partner in crime is neither the late Ser Dontos neither her husband. Who, then? Why, Sansa herself, even though she wasn’t aware. The poison was smuggled in the wedding via her own necklace. Why, though, Sansa and the audience wonder, would Littlefinger kill Joffrey? Because he wants things. Including getting into Sansa’s pants. And because his new non-Lannister friends wanted to see the king dead.
You don’t think I’d let you marry that beast, do you? – Olenna
We find Margaery and Olenna enjoying an afternoon stroll in the gardens. Probably one of their last, since Olenna is to return to Highgarden. Margaery is not amused by the perspective. Who could blame her? Olenna has other things in mind though. She asks Margaery if she has seen Tommen yet. When her granddaughter replies that she does not even know if she will marry him, Olenna tells her of how she got married to Luther, who was originally engaged to Olenna’s sister. Olenna wasn’t pleased with her own betrothed, a Targaryen too effeminate for her taste. So the night before Luther was supposed to propose to her sister, Olenna fucked his brains out. Olenna suggests that Margaery seduces Tommen before Cersei gets a chance to turn him against her. We can be glad that the boy is maybe 13 or 14 in the show, instead of, well, nine. Then, Olenna openly admits having orchestrated the king’s death. Margaery is confused. Olenna reassures her while the camera focuses on the necklace the future queen is wearing: she doesn’t need to worry about killing. She just needs to take care of securing her place near the next king.
Mormont’s not here to protect you now. – Alliser Thorne
At Castle Black, the brothers of the Night’s Watch prepare for the upcoming battle against the wildlings. Jon Snow trains his comrades, including Locke, Lord Bolton’s undercover agent in the Night’s Watch. Alliser Thorne interrupts them to pick on Jon Snow because he’s prettier than him. He reminds Jon that he is a Steward and has nothing to do training recruits. Jon wants to rebel but Thorne reminds him that he’s walking on thin ice. Jon walks away. Janos Slynt reminds Alliser Thorne that he should try to get rid of Jon Snow before the Night’s Watch elects the new Commander, or he could find himself having to obey a bastard for the rest of his days. Meanwhile, Locke bonds with Jon over how big a douchebag Alliser Thorne is.
That’ll be all, Lord Commander. – Cersei
We find Cersei drinking wine, as always. Jaime enters her chambers and very formally asks her why she summoned him. Why, to bitch at him, of course! Cersei thinks Jaime is doing a horrible job at protecting the future king and that he betrayed her both by lying to Catelyn Stark and coming back to King’s Landing with another woman. The scene is merely composed of Cersei bossing Jaime around and criticizing every single one of his actions and Jaime just calmly accepting it. It’s almost like episode 3 didn’t happen, except when Jaime makes a move towards Cersei she immediately dismisses him and it immediately brings back the memory of that scene. Ugh. I swear I am trying not to go on a rant.
When we marry I become yours. Forever. – Margaery
It’s funny, because the last thing Cersei asks Jaime is to place four men outside of Tommen’s chambers day and night, and of course the scene that follows involves Margaery sneaking up in Tommen’s chambers. Tommen wakes up to the sound of someone approaching and when he realizes the identity of the intruder, tries to reason with her, arguing that his mother doesn’t allow him to have visitors at night, but Margaery brushes his weak objection off with a seductive look and one mention of the fact that she is to be his bride. Now having his attention, Margaery sits on Tommen’s bed, then proceeds to talk about them getting to know each other and become close before their marriage while only talking about sex with her eyes. Tommen is under the spell. He introduces her to Ser Pounce, his cat. The conversation sidetracks on Joffrey’s cruelty. Margaery somehow brings the conversation back on sex. Tommen is left speechless by the thought and Margaery, sensing that she hooked him, kisses him on the forehead and disappears back into the shadows, this not without getting Tommen’s approval for more nocturnal visits.
Oathkeeper. – Brienne
It is time for some Jaime/Brienne. Brienne reads the page dedicated to Jaime in the book of the Kingsguard. Jaime implies once again that he’s never accomplished anything worthy of note during his career as a knight despite his promising debut, right before presenting his sword to Brienne. While she admires it, Jaime declares that it is a gift for her mission: finding Sansa and get her somewhere safe. At this point, it is clear that indeed, Jaime is not on his sister’s side anymore. He has grown as a man in universe and as a character for us, which is in total contradiction with that bloody rape scene in episode 3, which, once again, I won’t talk about here. Jaime also gives an armor to Brienne, that he had made especially for her. Brienne swears to find Sansa for Lady Catelyn and for Jaime in the most awkward yet sweetest love declaration we’ve witnessed on that show. Jaime gets out of it by announcing that he has another gift for Brienne… Pod. Brienne doesn’t want the lad around, especially since Pod immediately calls her “ser”, but Brienne has no choice. Pod is not safe in King’s Landing anyway. Brienne names her sword and her and Jaime exchange heartbreaking farewells. She turns around to look at him as she rides away, while we try to accept that they will probably never see each other again.
Who will join me? – Jon Snow
Jon tries to reassure Sam about Gilly’s fate (although to be fair, I do think that leaving Gilly at Mole’s Town was a rather stupid idea). They discuss a way of tracking Bran when Locke comes in, telling Snow that Ser Alliser wants to see him. Ser Alliser commands Jon to take care of the mutinees still at Craster’s Keep. The acting commander tells him that he can only take volunteer, so Jon turns to his brothers and gives them a motivational speech that smells of “Thorne, I am already the Lord Commander, whether you like it or not”. The brothers of the Night’s Watch hesitate for a while. Then, slowly, six of them stand. Is it me or does the music resembles the one that played when the Fellowship Of The Ring was formed? Among the volunteers is Locke, of course. New recruits aren’t supposed to go north of the wall, so he asks to say his vows. Anything to get into Jon’s good books.
Give it to the Gods. – Craster’s widows
At Craster’s Keep, the leader of the mutinees (whose name I don’t remember and don’t care about), drinks wine from Jeor Mormont’s skull while around him, Craster’s daughters/widows get the same treatment from the mutinees that they used to get from Crasters: rape and orders. The mutinee leader bosses one of his men around, drunk, rambling about how great an assassin he used to be and all I can see is the guy thrusting inside a poor girl’s vagina in the background. It’s really distracting. One of the women comes in with a baby. A boy. The mutinees want to kill him, but the women chant: “Give it to the gods”. In the end, the leader sends one of his men to abandon the infant in the middle of the forest. The same man then walks up to the cage where the mutinees are keeping Ghost and torments the direwolf until he throws himself against the bars of his prison. The man falls to the ground. Suddenly, the temperature drops and the wind blows, carrying the cawing of a hundred crows.
I’m Brandon Stark! I’m Brandon Stark of Winterfell! – Bran
Not far from Craster’s Keep, Bran and his companions hear the cries of the baby. Immediately, Bran slips into Summer’s body, determined to discover what’s happening. The direwolf trots in the general direction of the cries, but ends up near Ghost’s cage, where he falls into a trap. Bran gets out of Summer’s body and alerts his companions. Eager to understand what’s going on, the group hides near Craster’s Keep and observes the mutinees. Myra quickly understands that the men they’re observing are not men of the Night’s Watch anymore and that they should leave. Too late. The mutinees have already found them.
While the mutinees torment Hodor for being awesome, their leader interrogates Bran, Myra, and Jojen. At first they are determined to not say anything, even when the leader gets creepy with Myra. Soon after, however, Jojen collapses, and starts convulsing. The leader puts a knife to Myra’s throat, both frightened and angered by the event. Bran, wanting to save both of his friends, throws his identity at the leader. Think about this: Jon Snow is on his way to the keep to take out the mutinees, and the mutinees just got his brother. Prepare for suspense, action, and blood.
Further up north, a pale, cold, blue-eyed rider on a dark undead horse carries the now mysteriously calm baby to an altar. There, the newborn is picked up by a wight walker dressed like a king. The wight walker gently presses his fingertip against the baby’s cheek and OH MY GOD A ZOMBABY.