Remedy: The Awkward Family Dinner…

Snapshot 3 (4-9-2014 4-34 PM)

by Nadin P.

I can’t even begin to say how not okay I am with the fact that the next episode of Remedy is the last in Season 1. We might, and most likely WILL need some professional help to deal with it, or at the very least a support group or something. I know I will…

Anyway! On to “The Little Things”.

There’s got to be a special place in heaven for everyone who can make it through a family dinner, whatever the occasion, without going on a killing spree. The Conners are… halfway there.

The episode opens with Melissa Conner is living her worst nightmare – Sandy asked her to help with the party and the caterer is late, and she can do nothing about it! Except decorate the cake because, obviously, no one can possibly do it better. Does anyone know how much it costs to hire a surgeon to decorate your cake? I have a couple of birthdays coming next month.

No words can describe how happy I am to see Mama Baker feeling better and being back in her natural habitat, aka with a glass of her drink of choice, which is either a really good drink or her instinct of self preservation kicking in. Because, you know, family time.

The Deckers arrive, and oh my God, isn’t Sarah Allen stunning in this dress?

I don’t even know who this Massimo the caterer is, but if I were him, I’d change his name and move somewhere far, far away because if Mel ever – ever! – finds him, he’s dead. Well, the night will be fun!

10 hours earlier…

Mel is breaking the news to Mr. Turnbull about his wife’s cancer and the fact that there’s nothing they can do about it. Because cancer is evil like that.  Kudos to Sara Canning for making us all feel every ounce of confusion and uneasiness Mel is feeling when he talks to the man. We’re all just as heartbroken.

Forget what I said about Massimo earlier. I bet he already is half way to Costa Rica. Or wherever Mel can’t track down his cell phone.

See, the most fascinating and the most infuriating thing about Brian Decker is that every time he gets closer to being a decent human being, he find it absolutely necessary to turn right back into a douche. How do you forget about your favorite Auntie coming from GHANA?! Where is the guy who went out of his way to try and talk Josey into going back to chemo last week? WHERE?!

If I were Priscilla and if it wasn’t a, I don’t know, 10 thousand hour flight, I’d turn around and go right back home. By this point we all know how Brian’s promises work, anyway.

PS Melissa Conner and the art of eye roll, ladies and gents!

We’d all focus on what a jerk Brian is but that’s when Griff show up. Apparently, just like Massimo, he wasn’t returning Mel’s calls. She’s having that kind of day, apparently. We all do now and then. Instantly, Auntie recognizes him as a drug addict. Sweet! I really want to skip to that dinner already.

Oh, look, there’s a guy in a coat and he wants to show you something! (This is when I’d totally leave, no kidding).

Mel and Allen talk to the patient and explain to her that her rather unpleasant condition is a result of antibiotics treatment and they need to operate on her ASAP, or she’s literary explode. Sounds exactly like the kind of thing you’d want to hear from your doctor, doesn’t it? I don’t think I’ll ever joke about anything of that kind ever again. And can we please talk about how the side effects of EVERYTHING are always so much worse than the initial problem? Here’s your Advil! It may kill you but hell, if you’re lucky, you’ll die without a headache.

Meanwhile, somewhere downstairs, Zoe runs into Griff and asks him about the party because she was supposed to be his ‘plus one’, by the looks of it. And she’s got the dress. And they’re still at odds with each other. Good! They need to talk it out! Preferably before the party because, you know, the dress. Also, Griff is being an idiot and it’s just not good.

But it’ll all have to wait because right now we have to deal with Kanaskie and his attention seeking that knows no boundaries. By the way, as there anyone in this town Griffin Conner doesn’t know?! I mean, half the people walking into Beth H are either his buddies or his exes or both. No one is really surprised that he knows Phillip the reality TV guy, right? I don’t like him. Just FYI.

So, this is basically how Brian Decker’s character development works: he goes from being a jerk to being a nice guy to being a jerk again to being a thousand times worse than that. Did he just say WHAT?! How does he even come up with what comes out of his mouth?! Red flags, Sandy. Red flags all over…

We need a spin-off which will be just about Mel and Jerry prepping for the surgery. I’m not sure about the stage of their relationship at the moment, but she trusts him with her phone. I’d say they are almost married. Or he’s promoted to the status of her secretary. Go figure.

We’ll figure this out as soon as she saves the lady whose body refuses to cooperate. Ouch!

Every time we cut to the party, I’m surprised Mel is still trying to reach Massimo by phone instead of, I don’t know, trying to hunt him down. I bet she’d be able to do that even in those killer pumps of hers. On the bright side, they still have the cake. A perfectly decorated cake.

Hello, Griffin! This black eye looks hot on you. Just like everything else. I knew this dinner was going to be fun. Mel is furious, naturally. Black eye isn’t exactly her idea of a dress code. Does it count for anything that he made it there at all?

8 hours earlier…

Kanaskie is making the most boring movie ever.

Meanwhile, we find out that Sandy is still at the hospital not only because Brian totally screwed up and she needs to babysit his aunt but also because she’s got a patient whose brain function has died a week ago and whose relatives she’s trying to reach to make sure the woman isn’t alone when she dies. Do we agree that the three-word interaction between Dr. Tuttle and Auntie was priceless?

When Melissa Conner asks you for stuff, you give it to her, no questions asked, because if you don’t, she’ll come and get it anyway, leaving a bloody trail behind. Which is exactly why, when she needs plasma, she gets plasma.

This episode is brought to you by, “Hi, my name is Brian Decker and I never think before I speak!” I wonder if it’s an inborn talent or a developed skill. Either way, he sure knows how to use it. if Livia the Botox doctor could get him with the power of her mind, this episode would be the end of Brian Decker.

I sure hope that Kanaskie has a clear idea of what he wants his movie to be like because if it is, in fact, about malfunctioning pass cards, he has a problem. Poor Zoe!

Wait! Kanaskie needs this segment in his film. “You’d think we warm up plasma in a microwave, but no, there’s nothing quite like body heat!” Good news – Mel got her plasma. Bad news – it doesn’t seem to be enough. There are very few things as unsettling as eye bleeding, and I can’t come up with any of them at the moment. Yikes!

Hours later at the party, Brian’s parents note that Allen and Rebecca make a good couple. I swear I could hear the entire audience applaud – because yes, indeed! And personally, I’d choose pizza over pretty much everything anyway. All things considered, Mel should be happy about this outcome. Sandy is hiding somewhere, and since a family get-together, it’s more than understandable.

6 hours earlier…

Livia the Botox fan suggests they amputate the Dave’s leg before he turned completely into a zombie it’s too late. Apparently, it’s faster to cut the leg off than run the biopsy. Surgeons!

TOLD YOU!!! Told you Griff’s pal was trouble! Clean or not, kick him out of the hospital before it’s too late, Griffin. That punch? Totally deserved. I almost didn’t want Zoe to interfere.

I’m pretty sure Brian cracked up on the inside when Allen suggested he needed to apologize to Livia for his offhand comment about her decision to move on to private practice. Someone needs to explain to him the difference between joking and being mean.

People, like, really need to stop lying to their doctors about the drugs they’re taking. Bad, bad idea! People do judge though, but hey, Dave might have just saved his own life by coming clean (pun intended, sort of). I bet he’d like to save that leg of his anyway. For walking and stuff.

Wait, was that an apology? FROM BRIAN?! Mark your calendars, everyone!

Excuse me while I have a small emotional moment while Melissa Conner practices her “Her mother won’t make it” speech, which feels wrong for all the right reasons because, truth is, no words can possibly make it sound any less awful. This show doesn’t need commercial breaks but the cryfest breaks would be much appreciated, thank you.

Back at the Conner house, we get to have a glimpse of what the Conner kids looked like in their teen years. Sweet! Also, Sandy almost cares why Zoe is not coming. Well, not really, but maybe for just a second—

4 hours earlier…

It’s not like I want Sandy to get in trouble but don’t we all love the moments when she stands up to Dr. Tuttle? Especially when it comes to being, you know, a human being. Still feeling bad for Auntie being stuck in all this hospital mess but that moment between the two of them and Auntie’s story and the dress – it was quite lovely. And it did its job and planted some good ideas in Sandy’s head.

Oh, look, it’s a giant clot of blood that just saved that woman’s life! It looks gross but I’m happy Mel doesn’t have to break bad news to yet another anxious family member for the second time today. Yes, honey, you can’t be in control of blood clots. Just roll with it!

No, Zoe, sorry you can’t come in without food. It’s a password to out blanket fort for the night. Best scene ever! Not to mention the reconciliation kiss – major awww moment. Shame it’s not their party, which we’re reminded of when Sandy tries to take off and Brian wants to stop her, because – guests! Wedding!

It’s kind of amazing how Sarah Allen can make any scene heartbreaking just being in the right place at the right time. No one deserves to die alone.

I guess we all agree that Griffin coming over to Beth H instead of Brian was a good call. The lady said she needed space after all! And say what you want, but it’s the family moments that are made of win in this show, be it a parent-child thing, or heart-to-hearts between the siblings.

Also, that way you can send your brother to deal with your now ex fiancé and his family. I almost feel bad for Brian. If only he wasn’t such a douche earlier in the episode.

PS Is Papa Conner the best or what? Ice-cream that doesn’t melt…

POSTMORTEM

~ You call it flesh-eating disease, I call it the beginning of zombie invasion. Deal with it!

~ Can we please focus on how Sandy Conner grew as a character since the beginning of the show? I bet she always knew she wasn’t alone, but it was nice to see her actually see it for herself and doing what’s probably best for her. And frankly, the only thing worse than being alone – which is not such a bad thing anyway – is to be with the wrong person.

~ I do insist on getting the flashback on how Griff and Zoe fixed their issues. Come on, it’s not fair to cut it out!

~ And speaking of Zoe and Griff, since the two of them weren’t done for good after the freakout moment in the previous episode, I’m pretty sure Sandy and Brian are not over either. Not quite sure about season finale, but maybe in Season2…. That said, I’ve been always saying she could do much better so I’m not surprised or particularly upset over this break up.

~ I may not be an expert but I do believe that it takes a lot of talent to create a convincing unlikable character. Maybe I’m not a big fan of Brian Decker, but Matt Ward deserves all the awards for doing what he is doing, hands down.

~ Why wasn’t Jerry Mel’s ‘plus one’? I mean he’s probably better off without the Conner family drama yet. We need to ease him into it slowly. But I’d still want to see Brendan Gall, tall and charming, in a suit.

~ I desperately need Melissa Conner’s party hairdo!

~ Wait, why do they have a party? Who don’t they focus on trying to convince Josey to give chemo another try?! Did they all forget about her?

~ It’s been too long since we saw Lonnie. I’m having withdrawals. (I’m serious!)

~ Can we please have Season 2 announcement NOW? Thank you!

~ Not sure I’m ready for it, but don’t forget to come back next Monday for an epic season finale! 9pm on Global!

MEMORABLE QUOTES

“This? This is me being pleasant, buddy!” – Melissa

“Where there’s life, there’s hope.” – Melissa

“You did not forget your favorite Auntie, did you?” – Auntie

“I have a live guy in the ER, you have a brain dead woman in the ICU. I mean, really?” – Brian

“I always prepare for the worst, Gordon. That way I’m never disappointed.” – Melissa

“Is this morphine spiked with water or what?!” – Dave

“Okay, who’s got big boobs?… Boobs, armpits, whatever you got.” – Melissa

“I borrowed it without asking. If that’s what they call stealing these days—”- Phil

“I know people, they judge.” – Dave

A coffee junkie and a passionate traveler, Nadin is in love with all things writing – because who wants to live in the real world, anyway? TV or films – everything needs to be fast paced and dramatic. Scary? Even better! A vampire at heart, she can always be found in her cave, glued to her laptop. As a dedicated yogi and someone who can easily hike all the way to Alaska, Nadin thinks she’s the unhealthiest healthy person ever – because pizza, duh? She strongly believes that live needs to be lived, so… walk away from whatever makes you sad and make things happen!

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