Captain America 2: Bad Guys Try to Take Over the World… Again

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Spoiler Free!

It seems as though all superhero movies nowadays play out like an episode of Doctor Who.

The bad guys have infiltrated the government! They’ve devised a plan in which they will take over the entire planet and kill those who stand in their way!

Good guys band together. Exposition. WTF loophole. Good guys save the day.

Now, don’t get me wrong. Let me tell you right off the bat, The Winter Soldier was AWESOME. A helluva lot better than the first one, and seems like an all-round much more mature Marvel movie than anyone would expect. The action was a glorious symphony of explosions and punches, and the plot (for the most part) was fairly decent – and dare I say, believable?

For those who don’t know, The Winter Soldier tells the tale of the 90 year old fish out of water, our beloved Steve Rogers in modern day Washington, DC. Struggling to keep his inner sense of justice as the lines blur between bad and good, Steve finds it harder to carry out orders delivered by his commander, Nick Fury. After a shocking turn of events, Steve becomes a fugitive, wanted by the very agency that brought him back to life. Ganging up with the deliriously awesome Natasha Romanoff and Sam Wilson – our new Falcon, Steve discovers a dark secret that’s been festering at the heart of SHIELD for the last 50 years.

You can’t really blame the first Captain America for being a little ‘meh’, as its issues lies with its fantastical premise and routine plot. Also, it didn’t help that Captain America looked like a pretty wuss with a shield when you compare him to the other Marvel heroes (I haven’t read the comics, so I didn’t really know how awesome Cap could be). But TWS did an incredible job at making him seem much more capable and… real. He’s a lot more badass in this movie than he was in the last one and Avengers combined.

Badass.

Honestly, the best parts of the movie are when you see Steve Rogers in the real world. Whether it’s hiding behind the Captain America museum displays, or just walking through the Apple Store and getting ambushed by a well-mannered employee. Everything about this movie seems a lot more grounded and down to earth. And that’s exactly what makes him stand out from the rest of the Avengers. At the very core, Steve is just a soldier. Tony Stark is an eccentric billionaire playboy (or was that Bruce Wayne), Bruce Banner is super hella smart, Thor is a GOD. But no. Not our adorable everyday Steve. He just happens to have rippling biceps and is immune to all diseases. So.

The dynamic Steve and Bucky (the Winter Soldier) share is extremely interesting. Though I felt like they could’ve explored their new relationship a lot more, as the screen time they share is minimal (cough nothing fanfiction won’t cure cough), the way the movie ended things left a lot of things up in the air. Something that the next film will explore, undoubtedly. Make sure to take note of the melodic screaming that accompanies Bucky’s appearances. Unnerving, to say the least.

Remember to check out the butt. The Bucky Butt.

Also, let the record show I no longer dislike Scarlett Johansson and I fucking love her now. I love her a lot. Not only because she’s sexy and she makes good movies, but simply because she’s a fierce motherfucker and she’s not afraid of showing it.

RDJ is to Iron Man as ScarJo is to the Black Widow. That is all.

Hollywood suffers from a lack of kickass female characters, but I think they did right by Natasha. She’s so badass in this movie I felt like they should’ve renamed it “Natasha Romanoff and Her Two Buff Sidekicks”. It is my humble opinion that Steve Rogers and Natasha Romanoff should date and make cute assassin-super-soldier babies.

Yes, the plot consists of bad guys taking over the world. Yes, there’s a lot of off-screen death and on-screen destruction (though nowhere near Man of Steel levels, thank Christ). No, you should not wait for this to come out on Blu-Ray, because it is totally worth watching in the theatres. One of the best Avenger movies, without a doubt.

PS. Stan Lee’s cameo in this one is spot on.

It would honestly be a Christmas Day miracle if somehow the studios can get over their fat selves and just collaborate on making superhero movies now. I, for one, would like to see a movie universe where both Iron Man and mutants exist (Robert Downey Jr vs. Ian McKellen, come on) And you’d be lying if you said you don’t wanna see Spiderman and Thor stand awkwardly next to each other.

Lies.

One day she hopes to reach a new state of being which requires no sustenance other than alcohol and pure, unadulterated rage. Imagine the shit she’ll write then, huh?

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