Mario + Kitties = Squeesplosion

Wii U Super Mario 3D World

Kitty MarioSuper Mario 3D World for Nintendo’s Wii U is going to blow your mind. And not in a nice, “Whoa, that idea is so great I stumbled backwards!” kinda way. I’m talking, you need an adamantium helmet to protect people from the bone shards that are going to impale anyone in the 100 meter radius of the blast zone when your skull explodes. I mean gooey, delicious brain matter coating surfaces in the epicenter of the ‘splosion blow your mind. Most of the blast energy is going to come from the sheer overload of cuteness on your neural circuits, but the game play is what’s really going to put your cranium into the critical zone. And then BAM! You die and go to Nintendo heaven, where all you do is scamper around as Mario kitty all day in pawsitively adorable bliss.

It took several hours of playing with the BF for me to calm down enough to stop losing my shit every time we found Super Bells. I couldn’t help it. I would fall into a squee-coma playing Peach dressed in the cat suit. In the age of LOLcats, this was probably only a matter of time, but the execution is fantastic. The cats can climb walls and cat-attack bad guys in an adorable, forward tumble. It opens up new ways to explore levels and is the right amount of challenging in 3D. Bravo Nintendo, the Bells are an excellent new addition to the Mario world that keeps these characters and games feeling fresh, but still preserving the Mario we know and love.

Mario vs BowserYep, it’s pretty much same old, same old with the layout of Super Mario 3D World. OR IS IT? Ok, mostly it is, but now you can run around the space between level entries, instead of being tied to the lines that connect levels on the world maps. It doesn’t seem like a big deal but really makes the 3D feel of the game more interesting. You can explore the maps for secrets and access out of the way puzzles and prizes. You’re rescuing tiny, fairy princesses from Bowser but honestly, I play hours of classic Mario games because it’s still fun, so if it ain’t broke… The mini bosses are easily dispatched but the castle and ghost levels get increasingly more challenging. I haven’t rage quit too many times, so it feels just about right on the difficulty scale.

The BF and I have also played the New Super Mario Bros. on the Wii U and the multi-player is a gong show compared to Super Mario 3D World. If we break up or murder each other, it will be because of two player Super Mario Bros. But in 3D? We love it. There’s enough room in the 3D levels for two people to actually jump across obstacles and attack things, without killing each other. I’m getting PTSD flashbacks just thinking about our last Super Mario Bros. castle attempt. Quick, back to kitties. Back to kitties.

I wasn’t sure how it would work with one person using the larger, Wii U GamePad and one person with the standard controller, but it is motherfucking magical. We got to parts in the game where the BF had to slide blocks or gently blow on the game pad to activate things and it felt like we were really using new technology to play video games. I’ve started Scribblenaughts Unmasked with the Wii U and play mostly on the GamePad. Incredible. I’ve seen bad reviews for the Wii U and I just can’t imagine what went wrong for those muggles that they can’t experience joy anymore. I think their whimsy organs are broken.

Peach Burn

Another fun aspect of the Wii U is the online feature that enables players to leave messages after each level. When you finish, the messages from people who’ve completed that level scroll across the top of the screen. They can decorate the notes with stamps or write comments. It’s really fun after difficult levels because everyone shares your frustration with those goddam chomping flowers. Or jumping levels. Fuck jumping. And with two people? Forget about it. Of course, the children are also playing out there so everyone leaves PC, G-rated comments.

But I can feel the burning hate in those Yoshi stamps and I feel those feels.

For me, Super Mario 3D World and the Wii U are mega hits. Nintendo has created a fantastic new system that has loads of fun games for almost all ages. Sure, it’s not the PS4 or Xbox One for peeps who love action-adventure third or first person shooters. It’s for the kid in all of us. Plus, Zelda, making other arguments invalid. And the Super Bells, guys. SUPER BELLS

– Roz Y.

A microbiologist turned screenwriter, she loves all things science. Roz enjoys video games (the cake is a lie!) and reading comic books, and arguing with other geeks about both. Inspired by screenwriters like Stephen Moffat, Edgar Wright, Fran Walsh, and Joss Whedon, her favourite genres are science fiction, horror, and fantasy. Roz is so cool she plays the French Horn and has a collection of fabulous head bands.

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